Title: 0800
Prompt: #43 – Joke
Genre: very humorous fluff (is there such a thing as comedy fluff? O__O)
Warnings: not a single one
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1.388
Disclaimer:- I don’t own Gundam Wing. I don’t even own the prompts that I’m using to write the fics. I only own a somewhat crappy computer and it’s not worth a lot. I’m not making any profit with my fics. You will have another 96 chances to believe in what I say 8D
Notes: beta-ed by the super fast wonderfull and amazing  cristal. ~♥

When I agreed to share an apartment with Duo Maxwell, I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew I was signing my name on the list of people he would annoy as frequently as possible, with his goofing around, practical jokes and sarcasm.

Hell, I was practically begging to be promoted to the very top of that list.

But, in spite of all things Duo has kept with him from the ‘joker’ façade he used to be so fond of during the war, he still is a surprisingly pleasant roommate.

‘Surprisingly’ being the keyword in that case.

I’m never going to forget how utterly surprised I was when, during a quick break on a mission, I called our apartment and noticed that Duo had changed the message on the answering machine.

‘You called the wrong number’, the voice on the machine announced cheerfully, ‘If you wish to speak with Duo Maxwell or Heero Yuy call 0800-hot-preventers. To speak directly to Duo, call 0800-shinigami and press two. To speak directly with Heero, call 0800-selfdestruction and press one. Thank you.’

I looked at my cell phone quite disbelievingly.

‘Duo!’, I growled into the poor phone receiver, forgetting for a moment that he wasn’t on the other side of the line to hear me, since the machine had answered my call with that outraging message. ‘What kind of joke is that? You erase this message today, you hear me?’

I stopped and took a deep breath. Losing my temper with Duo, even through recorded messages, never resulted in anything very good. I decided to rephrase my request.

‘I will call again tomorrow, and if the machine answers, I’d better listen to something different from what I listened to today, or omae o korosu’, I said, hanging up without another word.

Right. Looking back on it now, maybe that wasn’t the best example of rephrasing in history, but at least I tried.

It took me an entire day before I found the time to call again. And to my surprise, as per my request, there was a brand new message on the machine.

‘You called the asylum. For help with Zero System induced craziness, press four. For tips about alternative jobs to ex-clowns, press three. To obtain help for obsessive-compulsive behavior towards justice, press five. To get home delivered shock treatment, leave a message after the beep.’

I stared at the receiver in my hand for the second time in two days, imagining what I had possibly done to be receiving such a punishment. I decided to leave a message, knowing even before recording it that it was probably going to be a useless effort.

‘Very funny. I suppose the other guys have been calling lately. We will talk about this tomorrow when I come back home, Duo. Be prepared.’

I hung up, despite it all, with a small smile gracing my lips.

I came back from my mission the next day and was welcomed by an empty apartment.

There was, however, a sheet of yellow paper, that I recognized as being from the Preventers official stationary, stuck to the refrigerator door with a scythe magnet.

‘Heero,

I’m sorry I’m not home to welcome you back and listen to the lecture of the year because of that silly and totally harmless joke with the answering machine. Maybe next time?
I’m out on vacation to a place unknown, but I will be back in five days. I will try to call, but I can’t guarantee I will stay in constant contact. My cell phone doesn’t seem to get good signal when I’m near the pool.
Oh, and since we are on the subject of making calls, the machine has a brand new message. I would check it out if I were you.

Duo.’

‘I’m out on vacation’ was Duo’s code for mission, and ‘place unknown’, well, meant exactly that. Duo would probably be incommunicable for the next five days.

I couldn’t help noticing that, thanks to the ten days I had just spent on mission, almost half a month would have passed since the last time we had seen each other in person when he finally came back home.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of this thought, and, with a sigh ready on my lips, checked the message on the answering machine.

‘You called the ‘You are next’ morgue. You kill, we bury. For anonymous service, press eight. For information on velvet covered coffins, press nine. For services of cremation, press ten and light a match. If you are Heero Yuy, please don’t kill me when you hear this.’

I couldn’t contain the brief laugh that escaped me. Duo really never ceased to surprise me.

Before going to bed, I took his message out of the refrigerator door, folding the paper carefully and tucking it under the phone.

It was the bright yellow color on the paper that, the next day, made me look and realize that someone had left a new message on the machine.

‘Yuy, I can’t believe you haven’t changed this ridiculous message. I sincerely expected more from you. I will write our phone number on the walls of every public restroom I set a foot on, so I recommend you change this message today. Bye-bye.’

Oh, now, that was a dare.

It was only minutes after I had changed the message on the machine again, laughing at my own stupidity, that I noticed that maybe, just maybe, Duo’s spontaneity was rubbing off on me.

Now it was too late though, and two could play that game.

When Duo called back that afternoon, I resisted the urge to pick up the phone and let him listen to the new message.

‘You called the Preventers hotline’, I heard my own, monotonous voice saying, ‘We are sorry, all our attendants are busy at the current moment. To get preferential service, call 3526-7137.’

I waited for the beep and was pleasantly surprised by the sound of Duo’s very recognizable laughter on the other side of the line.

Gods, I missed that laughter.

‘Not bad for such an amateur, Yuy. I hope no one calls that number though because my cell phone is off and hidden inside a drawer somewhere in my room and, as far as I know, its message inbox isn’t very big. I just hope it can handle the huge number of calls it’s going to get for the next few days. Over.’

From that moment on, during the next three days that followed before his return date, Duo and I engaged in a rather interesting phone tag game.

I changed the greeting on the machine every day, and he left stupid messages back to it.

The day before his arrival though, I found myself suddenly anxious to pick up the phone and talk to him.  Even though we were having fun communicating through messages, I missed talking to him for real. I missed sitting by his side on the couch and just…spending time together.

At the same time, I didn’t want to ruin this new and weird – for lack of a better word – connection we had established.

I blame this sudden mood for the message I recorded that night.

It was with just a bit of hesitation that I let the phone ring five, six, seven times until the machine got it.

‘You called the residence of Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell. If you are a friend or calling to sell something, know that this message isn’t directed at you. If you are an agent on a mission and you are about to come back home, know that…I miss you.’

I held my breath when I heard the sound of the beep, and waited.

The other side of the line was silent for a long moment and I wondered if maybe some sales person really had called our number and got confused with the message.

It was then that I heard his voice, soft and hopeful, whispering like he couldn’t believe his own words.

‘I miss you too. I’m coming home, Heero.’

I let my hand reach for the receiver for the first time in five days, and put it against my ear.

My answer was a whisper, equally hopeful, hidden behind a smile that he couldn’t see, but maybe, could hear.

‘I’m waiting. ’